Hoyt's Lair
by IllThinkOfSomething10
Summary: Jane is kidnapped, Maura has to go and find her... And get through the Lair just to reach her. Based loosely on Dragon's Lair,. Yes, the arcade game from 1983.


_AN- well, this really has no valid explanation as to why something like this really has come into creation. You see, here we were, sitting on the couch, trying to beat Dragon's Lair (again) when we decided "Hey, this would be a really hilarious crossover with Rizzoli and Isles." And then SnapTobiume10 and I were throwing ideas around, and we decided we just could not handle this as a multi- chapter, without our brains imploding a little bit... Or a lot. So here is the resulting one- shot that is bound to be epic- ly hilarious, that came to be because of an obsession with Rizzoli and Isles, and the Dragon's Lair Trilogy._

_Ladies and gentlemen, we are almost ashamed to present, Hoyt's Lair._

_~IllThinkOfSomething10  
~SnapTobiume10  
_

* * *

Maura walked into her house, her little brothers and sisters all sitting around the kitchen table. Anabelle, the woman that took her in, walked over to her, rolling pin in hand. She must have been cooking.

"Maura!" She yelled, "Jane has been kidnapped! Go find her! Don't come back until you do!"

Maura turned, and walked out the door. She grabbed her handgun, smiling lethally. Nobody would get to her Jane.

They had all been taken in by Anabelle. She was kind, but very protective when it came to the children. Maura was usually the one to go and find them when they went missing. Jane and Maura.

But this time, it was Jane to go missing. Not just missing. She was kidnapped.

And Maura would get her back.

* * *

Maura walked to the castle that wasn't exactly a castle, but more like an intensive care unit from surgeon clinic, or something likewise. The modern- looking building stood out rigidly against the sky, towering above the broken down, ivy and thorn covered buildings surrounding it. Maura readied her gun, holding it down, braced with both hands. Taking a deep breath, she approached the darkened building slowly, cautiously. There was no way that there would not be any traps, any enemies. Taking three steps further on to the stairwell, Maura felt the ground rock.

"Self manufactured seismic activity below the building's structure. Fantastic." Wonderful, Jane's speech mannerisms were even starting to rub off on her. The blonde jumped, pressing her body tightly into the inward- opening door as the stairs cracked, splitting open where she had just been standing. The doctor pushed the door in, stepping into a barely- lit room; one that looked like it was running on a back- up generator rather than real electricity.

"Save me!" The echoing cry barely came to Maura's ears, as she heard cracking from above her this time. She darted off to the side, nearer to the first door on the left, as the ceiling crumbled downward, cracking an elderly looking desk in half and sending surgical instruments flying in all directions. Maura grabbed the door, using it as a shield to block her from the sharpened tools, slamming it closed and pressing her back up against it tightly. There was a hissing from somewhere in the room she was in, and the blonde tilted her head, as if asking 'Really?'

"Agkistrodon contortrix. Venom is poisonous. Where are you..." She whispered, clicking the safety catch from her pistol, narrowing her eyes in an effort to see better in the darkened room. Something moved, lunging at her. Maura saw the slight glint of fluorescent light on saliva the briefest moment before fangs came in contact with her skin. The bang from the pistol was followed up by two others; two other copperheads raising up from their hiding places to strike at her. Before any more of them could come near, she loped up the stairs; taking the broken steps two at a time.

As soon as the next door slammed behind her, Maura knew she would have no way back out of this place. The only way out was forward; to Jane. She would find Jane. Glancing around, pistol raised, Maura found this particular room quite strange, however. There seemed to be nothing here. Other than a set of empty test tubes and broken beakers in the center, and a desk with labelled vials behind it. She approached the counter- like desk, curiosity peaked. She lifted one, just high enough to read the label.

"Narcotic." The M.E. whispered. She lifted another one, in the same hand as her gun. "Anesthetic. Oh my-" The vial exploded, and she backed away quickly. The acidic liquid fizzled, cracking and eating through the metal desk as she watched. Other vials slid from the piece of furniture, shattering over the floor. "Acids. Should have known." She hissed at herself, jumping up on to one of the broken pieces of wood, stepping across the quickly filling gap and running up another flight of stairs. It was the third floor now, and she raised her gun again, just as a precaution. She absolutely would not touch a damn thing, if she could help it. She stepped forward through the quiet room, careful. It was too quiet. Could she, just maybe, get through one room that was not a death wish for her?

"Eat me!"

"Jane?!" She took a step at the ghost- like voice. The doctor heard something snap, heard the rumbling of something falling behind her, before she really processed what was happening. She ran forward, dodging as various scalpels and other tools she had used before in her studies shot out from the walls, lodging themselves across the room. She jumped across a wide gap, reaching forward to grab hold of the edge of flooring that had fallen below some other unfortunate soul. Her heels scraped against the ceiling of the floor below them; a floor that she couldn't see the floor of, is there even was one. The rumbling behind her was growing louder, and biting her lip, Maura heaved herself up one last time, falling into a heap against the exit door. "Oh my." A giant, glass sphere crashed down through the gap, scraping against the edge she had been clinging to desperately. She never heard it shatter after its descent, and she should have, unless it fell further than a single floor. Panting, the medical examiner shut her eyes. This was a little bit much, if she did say so herself. After a brief moment, she reopened her eyes, and rose up on shaking legs. "Alright, Maura. Time to go. Time to get Jane." She opened the door, stepping out into a small, circular room. With nothing in it. Not even an exit door. "What the-" Her eyebrow had not even risen fully, before there was a splitting sound, and the floor scrabbled for a hand hold, when she saw a piece of flooring pass by in front of her. Hoping desperately there was another one, she inched forward, crouching as if getting ready to spring forward. She had been on the third floor, if she jumped now, she would be on the second. The woman's body froze, and she mentally cursed herself for being too spineless to jump across the miniscule gap. Another row of flooring passed her, and she growled out loud. She was getting off, whether her brain agreed with her or not! Without thinking much, the woman sprang forward, smashing into hard, tile floor. Immediately, she tasted blood in her mouth, and couldn't help but spit the metallic liquid to the side.

"Save me!" Closer now. Maura rose, and heard the screeching of common bats. She raised the pistol, shooting into the black cloud that was quickly descending upon her, dispersing the easily- frightened mammals. She let loose a breath she hadn't known she was holding, stepping forward cautiously. The tile gave her little warning before square sections began plummeting, and the blonde darted forward, and then down a path to the right, another to the left. Without waiting for anything else, she dove through the next door, slamming her back into it. She went to take a single step forward, when her ears caught the faintest sizzling noise. Maura's glare was to no one in particular, since no one was here with her, but just to the room in general. She knew the sound of an electric current anywhere, and knew that it was only audible if exceedingly strong. Reaching to her right, she grasped a rock, tossing it out in front of her. There was a snap, as the piece of granite all but exploded in an electricity- induced firebomb. She picked up a couple more, tossing them forward. Out of five, four exploded like the first one, and she tilted her head, trying to figure out the mystery of the other one. She picked up two more rocks, glancing at them, and then the floor.

"It couldn't be that simple, could it?" She whispered to herself, tossing one rock out on to a black tile. It exploded like the others. Next, she tossed her other rock on to a white tile. Nothing happened, and she shook her head. Then she picked up another small handful of rocks, jumping across to the smallest white square; the first one. Second, she stepped forward on to another square, and tossed a rock on to the next one, making sure she wouldn't spontaneously combust if she stepped on it. This place was teaching her that she could never be too careful. Finally, she looked forward, and saw no more white tiles, only black one. The blonde sighed, looking around in all directions, even behind her. A little to her right was a lever, and she jumped across the squares until she could reach it. "Please, please don't blow me up." She whispered, disengaging it. There were a few moments were nothing happened, and then the buzzing faded out before stopping altogether. As a precaution, she tossed a rock before her, and grinned with satisfaction when it did not explode into bright white flame. She then walked forward through the door.

Jane was pinned to the wall, using only binds that Maura could barely see from this far away. The man was beside her, with greying her, running one of his hands down the woman's side. Maura flinched as she watched him touch the detective, knocking into a nearby pile of... stuff. She didn't really know what was in the pile, all she knew was that it teetered, and she reached over to catch everything, to keep from making any noise whatsoever. Jane's eyes lit on her briefly, as Hoyt turned to his bag, searching for something. Maura shook her head, holding a finger up to her lips unnecessarily. She ducked behind a broken pillar quickly, carefully skirting flickering light created by an arrangement of candles. She lifted something, a broken shard of metal, and turned towards the door, listening.

"You're mine now, Janie. All mine." She heard the silky, disgusting voice whisper. She heard Jane bite down on a scream, and flinched again, having to catch another teetering pile of objects. "No more of that pretty little blonde you've been so keen on lately. I'll be keeping you all to myself, and you'll never see her again." Maura bit down on her lip, creeping around the edge of the broken desk she was behind. She could see him, running his hands through her gorgeous raven hair, pressing his lips against her forehead as he spoke, a scalpel pressed up against her neck. "Or perhaps I will find her, and play with her a little bit before she dies. Because, Janie, ultimately she will. She has to; I won't share even the tiniest bit of you with any other." Maura threw the piece of metal, knocking a pillar on the far side of the room. His head whirled, and she held her breath, waiting. "What? Who's there?!" He called out, taking Jane's gun and readying it before stalking towards the noise. Maura moved quickly, pressing herself tight up against Jane for the briefest moment as she examined the binds.

"I knew you would come. The key is around his neck." She whispered. Maura let her fingers pause briefly over bloody bandages around her hands, and Jane's eyes locked with hers. "Later, I- Maura!" The blonde spun, dropping to one knee as the scalpel embedded itself into the wall just above her head. Without thinking much, she lashed out with a sharpened piece of shrapnel, cutting the ligaments behind his knee, making the other surgeon back away quickly, screaming a curse before he could help himself. She rolled away from Jane, pressing her back against one of the fallen pillars in the room, raising the gun so she could just turn and shoot, first chance she had.

"Come out and play, Doctor Isles." He sang out, and she bit down on a retort. "Janie's all mine, I just have to get you out of the way first, sweetheart." She whirled, and two shots were fired before she hit the ground in a roll, dodging his own gunfire. When she was on her feet again, she fired off another one, dropping the empty clip to the ground and jamming a second into the gun. She whirled, embedding one in his other knee, and then a second into his shoulder. A bullet grazed across the side of her cheek, and she ducked again, turning her head as rock shattered from the force of another shot, nearly coming in contact with her face. She turned again, firing once at his hand, and then again at his torso. The man collapsed down, and she crushed the bones of his wrist beneath her stiletto.

"Did you have fun with your game?" She asked quietly, before firing once into his forehead. For the briefest moment before she pulled the trigger, his eyes had reflected only the purest fear. The blonde reached down, ripping the key, and its gold chain, from his neck roughly. "Jane!" The word came out as nothing more than a breath, and it was all she could do to get the key in the lock and unlock her best friend and love of her life, without nearly crying.

"Maura!" She all but crushed the dark- haired detective up against the hard wall, wrapping her in a tighter embrace than she would have thought possible, due to her bone structure, height, weight, and muscle tone. Their lips found each other's within less than a moment, and one of Jane's hands wound tightly into matted blonde hair. When they broke apart, a thumb wiped away the tears that had found their way out of the blonde's eyes. "You're crying."

"Very deductive of you, detective." She whispered back, intertwining their fingers as she backed away a pace, looking around for another way out of the room. She rubbed dirt and blood from her right cheek, shaking her head. "The adrenaline's just worn off, that's all." She swallowed thickly, glancing down to the bandages around the Italian woman's hands. "Jane-" The woman's eyes dropped to one of the solid gold scalpels that had been tossed to the floor during the fight. Maura ducked her head away for a moment, running a hand over her brow. "Come on, lets get you somewhere I can fix you up." The blonde finally whispered, after deliberating through all of her options of words. They headed towards what would, hopefully, be an exit.

* * *

The door swung open, and there was suddenly a chorus of voices all erupting at once in an absolutely horrible dis-synchrony. Jane grinned, meeting the joyous faces of her younger siblings and her parents. Maura rested a hand against her lower back, holding the door open for her to go through and receive the onslaught of hugs that was most definitely coming for her.

"You're back! Finally! We were so worried about you!" Angela cried out, enveloping her daughter in the tightest hug she could manage.

"Ma'. Ma', you're touching me. Ma', enough hugging!" She pushed the older woman away, rubbing the back of her head as if she was ashamed of her mother's amount of affections. She turned, trying to locate the blonde that she owed her life to. "It was all thanks to Maura anyway, ma'."

"Just doing as I was told." The blonde shouted from the kitchen. Jane turned to find the woman, when her mother pointed to the velvet couch that was unoccupied by her family, where they sat around the living room table, chowing down on various assorted snacks.

"Well, come now Janie. Just sit and relax, we'll get everything for you." Her mother glared, when she nearly took a step towards the kitchen. "Come on, sit, sit!"

"But ma'." The detective groaned, glancing down at her bandaged hands briefly, before she gave in and took a seat on the comfortable sofa. There was the sound of heels clicking from behind her, and she fought the urge to turn around, to check behind her. Maura rested a water to her side, placing her own on the table beside it. "Maur-"

"You should relax Jane, I'll go back and get your medication and-" She stopped, when arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her back, and down. The woman cocked a single, perfectly shaped blonde eyebrow, when Jane smirked. Maura just sighed, moving off of the other woman's lap and onto the couch, where Jane tucked her head against the blonde's neck. The doctor slid her arms around her lover, one hand stroking beautiful black hair lovingly as the detective drifted.

"Thanks Maur." She whispered. The blonde grinned slightly, placing a kiss to her forehead.

"I'd save you any time you needed, Jane."

* * *

_AN- So it got a little fluffy there, at the end, but it all seemed to work out. Thinking of a sequel guys, but I'm not sure. Tell us both what you think, and we'll see how far we can get in DL 2: Time Warp. Because we have that one. Also, there is a poll up on SnapTobiume10's profile about a new crossover for R&I, so make sure to go vote! Thanks for the time!_

_~IllThinkOfSomething10  
~SnapTobiume10 _

_PS: I think this is the longest chapter that I've yet to write...  
_


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